Curating the Season

For years, I felt a subtle sense of dread as the holiday season approached. The endless to-do lists and unspoken “shoulds” left me feeling more drained than joyful.

Then 2020 happened. Like so many others, I took a step back and asked myself, “What truly matters to me this season?” That year became a turning point. I realized that some traditions weren’t adding joy but were instead contributing to stress.

I’ve since given myself permission to gently step back from those things. To create space for what was meaningful to us. And overall - to do a whole lot less 'doing' and a lot more 'being.'

For me, that included sending cards and preparing complicated meals. For others, those might be the exact things that feel meaningful. What mattered was tuning into what I actually enjoyed and learning to not overcommit.

It’s been a journey, but ultimately, it’s been transformative.

As a spiritual but not religious family, I also reflected on what I wanted the deeper meaning of Christmas to be in our home. That reflection led me to embrace the Scandinavian concept of hygge - pure presence and coziness.

Now, simplicity is the heart of our holidays. Cozy downtime, Christmas movies, even sleeping in - all about savoring small, unhurried moments. I started redefining what the holidays could look like for us: focusing on what felt meaningful and letting go of the rest.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. With two sons (ages 2 and 5), it’s very much a work in progress. But each year, I find myself enjoying this time of year a bit more.

A Season of Simplicity

Simplifying doesn’t mean abandoning all traditions - it means curating them. If you're familiar with the 80/20 principal - it's about curating the holidays for the 20% of the traditions that bring you 80% of the joy.

My family has some traditions we've continued, but we are intentional about them.

We don’t attend every event or say yes to every invitation. Instead, we create space for what matters most - like an evening watching Frosty the Snowman as a family or sneaking in a little Hot Frosty on Netflix after the kids are in bed. (If you haven’t seen it, it’s funny, a little cringy, and wholeheartedly recommended!)

There’s so much freedom in stepping back and questioning the “shoulds.” Should I send cards? Should I attend this party? Should I exchange gifts with a wider circle?

I’ve even re-evaluated how I wrap gifts! I rarely use wrapping paper anymore. Instead, I use gift bags or even simple drawstring sacks (affiliate link). Minimal effort, yet festive.

The more I learned to identify the “shoulds,” say no gracefully, and tune into what was meaningful for us, the more that stress has dissolved. An empowered, peaceful stillness has arisen.

Practical Ways to Simplify the Holidays

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are a few ideas to help you simplify and refocus on what brings you joy:

1. Evaluate Traditions

   • Ask yourself: Does this tradition bring me joy? Or do I feel obligated to do it?

   • Give yourself permission to let go of traditions that no longer resonate with you. It’s okay to skip the travel, exchange gifts with fewer people (or not at all), or pare down your celebrations.

2. Say “No” Gently

   • You don’t need to be at max capacity to say no to an invitation.

   • A script that works well: “Thank you! I'm in a place where I don't want to add anything. I appreciate the invite!"

3. Simplify Gift-Giving

   • Opt for fewer, more meaningful gifts - or consider giving experiences instead of material items.

4. Focus on Connection

   • Plan low-key gatherings where the focus is on authentic connection and relaxation, not unspoken 'shoulds.' (Again, different types of gatherings and traditions will feel good to different people - if something more lively and festive resonates, do it!)

5. Rethink Decorations

   • Some years, we go all out. Other years, we keep it minimal. One Christmas, when I was very pregnant, we set up a tree with just lights and no ornaments. It was still beautiful!

Thought-Provoking Questions to Reflect On

• What parts of the holiday season feel fun, connected, and joyful?

• What parts feel like “shoulds”?

• How can you embrace a bit more hygge this year? Or what energy would feel best for you?

Closing Thoughts

The journey to simplifying and truly enjoying the holidays is just that - a journey. It’s not about figuring it all out at once, but instead, taking intentional steps toward creating a rythym that feels good to you and your family.

For us, the best gift is presence - unrushed, genuine presence. And that’s a gift worth a few growing pains for.

-Dr. Jen