Not-Enoughness

Early in her career, celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer was fascinated by the fact that a common maladaptive belief was the root of nearly all her clients’ struggles.

The belief that they WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

Not smart enough, attractive enough, interesting enough, worthy enough, lovable enough.

When she helped her clients let go of this belief, their lives changed dramatically.

So, this powerful affirmation, "I am enough," became a cornerstone of her work.

This simple yet profound statement helps individuals dismantle the pervasive feeling of not-enoughness that often hinders success and fulfillment, or leads to external success without fulfillment.

The belief of not being enough is a deep-seated issue that many people grapple with, often unconsiously.

This feeling can stem from various sources, including childhood experiences, societal pressures, and personal setbacks. It manifests as self-doubt, fear of failure, and a relentless pursuit of external validation.

Marisa Peer identifies this not-enoughness as one of the biggest blocks to achieving our true potential. It creates an internal barrier that prevents us from recognizing our inherent worth and capabilities.

I was introduced to Marisa Peer’s work at the beginning of my introspective journey 8 years ago. Without realizing it, years of rigorous and competitive academics had shifted my ability to connect to an internal sense of self-worth.

I was also perpetually 'in my head' and completely disconnected from my body, which manifested as a variety of digestive and hormonal symptoms.

I began to listen to her hypnosis daily. I also wrote “I AM ENOUGH” on mirrors in my home and on the fridge. I made it the background of my phone and had a reminder go off daily.

At first, it didn’t seem like much was happening, but few weeks in, I experienced an unexpected result.

When I was going about my day, NOT in front of these powerful words, I became automatically more aware of the incessant stream of thoughts in my mind.

Comparisons. Judgments of myself and others. Mostly myself.

The dopamine hit of MEASURABLE results (like my productivity level at work) versus INTRINSIC results (the satisfaction of putting in a day of work and knowing it was my best effort, or authentic connection with patients) became obvious.

This led me on a journey of learning about the EGO and the HIGHER SELF, which has been pivotal in my journey.

I began to notice how much of my mental energy was spent on things I cannot control, ruminating about the past, or anticipating the future. On measurable results that gave me a jolt of chemicals that made me feel "good" in an addictive way, not an authentic or grounded way.

I simultaneously noticed how infrequently I felt present, confident, and connected.

If you’ve read my 'about' section, you know how this led me on a journey of ‘deconstruction and reconstruction of self’, combined with a LOT of learning.

Examining subconscious beliefs, patterns, reactions, judgments, insecurities, and getting honest with myself in my participation in self-sabotage.

I am finding myself wanting to type, ‘this journey has been hard but worth it’, but that just doesn’t fit.

Being stuck was HARD.

Staying stuck would have been EXCRUCIATING.

If starting this work feels terrifying…awesome.

Your very first conscious attempt to sit with emotional discomfort, observe it…and proceed anyway.

Immense emotional freedom (and confidence, joy, abundance, connection…all of the things we innately crave as humans) lies on the other side.

If you’ve been on a journey like this, I’d LOVE to hear about it! I'm always seeking practical tools!

grounded.now.contact@gmail.com

* I am not a mental health provider, PLEASE seek out a professional if tools on you're own aren't working! *

Practical Tools:

1.) Affirmations: Write “I AM ENOUGH” on mirrors, your refrigerator, the background of your phone. Set reminders on your phone. Say it out loud.

(I did this for months in the beginning of this journey 8 years ago - it was such a crucial foundational step)

Recorded hypnosis: Search ‘Marisa Peer I Am Enough’ on YouTube, listen for 21+ days straight. This is the minimal length of time it takes to shift any habit.

2.) Visualization: Imagine yourself feeling enough. Meaning, fulfillment, confidence.

3.) Challenging negative thoughts and learn about how our nervous system state can affect the quality of our thoughts, a concept called “Story Follows State”

4.) Seek professional help. Talk therapy, and especially EMDR (which integrates the body and both the conscious and subconscious mind to shift negative beliefs)

-Dr. Jen