Becoming Debt-Free at 35 (Mortgage Included)

Let me start by saying that EVERYONE’s situation is different. If you are struggling financially, you are NOT alone. The headspace that creates makes it hard to see a way out (I’ve been there).

Another caveat: I am in a high-income career, which makes it much easier to live below my means.

I want to share our journey. This is not meant to be prescriptive. Rather, if any small piece of this is helpful to you or builds belief in what is possible, that’s a win.

I’m currently 37. We became completely debt-free, including our mortgage, 2 years ago.

My husband and I met in our early 20s. I was in my second year of dental school, and he was a senior in college. He had come to the US from Germany on a tennis scholarship.

I felt overwhelmed by my six-figure student loans and began reading everything I could find that made me think that it was possible to pay them off and experience the kind of freedom I desired.

Because Tim’s entire world up to that point was on a different continent, he was also motivated to figure out ways to create financial freedom and flexibility. Staying in the States with a conventional 9-5, 2 weeks of vacation type of gig wasn’t going to work for him.

So, some practical decisions. I can’t overstate that what worked for us and had MEANING for us will not be the same for everyone.

However, I do think that tuning into WHY we as humans make certain decisions is more universally helpful.

We tend to be driven by subconscious beliefs.

When those beliefs are rooted in scarcity or not-enoughness, we tend not to choose options that do not align with our desires or our souls. These choices leave us with outcomes that only produce more craving.

When we got intentional about what we wanted, we quickly realized that establishing a relatively low cost of living was important to us.

Gaining entrepreneurial skills was also a must, as we envisioned Tim being self-employed in some capacity (although we didn’t have a lot of clarity about what that would be).

I am from New York. We met in Richmond and decided to remain in Virginia, but seek an area with a lower cost of living.

We started our careers in what is now our hometown in 2014.

We barely increased our spending from our student days (and when we were students, living minimally was an all-out game…mostly to mitigate the stress we felt about our debt, but the perspective made it more fun and rewarding).

We saved enough for a 20 percent down payment on a home that first year.

Because I’m a dentist, we qualified for a ‘doctor loan’, which meant we could put zero down AND have no PMI.

We opted for that. We had a slightly higher interest rate (about .25 percent), but it made the most sense.

I started knocking out my student loans. The chunk we saved for our home took care of the highest interest rate loans (almost 8%!), and some of the remaining portion, about a third of the total.

This gave us SO much momentum. I owed a small amount of money on my car, which I paid off around the same time, and kept going.

Because the cost of living is low in our area and because we bought a home far below our means, we were able to put large chunks toward debt every month.

By November 2016, less than 2.5 years after I started my first private practice job, I had paid off my student loans.

Again, everyone’s situation is different. I am VERY fortunate in MANY ways and I know some of the things that fell into place for me were due to sheer luck.

If this sounds overwhelming or impossible, please give yourself some grace. My objective is to share what we did in hopes of little bits or pieces seeming doable, or building belief in what is possible.

Around this time, my husband decided to become a real estate agent despite having an MBA. While he didn’t pay himself for quite some time, we were very motivated to get his business up and running.

The ability to be self-employed meant that he could visit family for a few weeks at a time, and schedule his work around their visits.

It also meant he could pursue a meaningful career.

Once he did start to pay himself, we were able to put his entire income toward our mortgage.

We lived below our means on my income, and the rest went toward long-term savings and the mortgage.

We kept this up for several more years. I wish I had something more dramatic or insightful to share at this point, but it was mostly a matter of setting up a lifestyle below our means (possible because of our incomes and where we chose to live) and gaining massive clarity around what was important.

Now, we still did things we enjoyed during those years. We traveled. We made improvements to our home.

But our trips were planned with intention around what mattered most. For example, we aren’t very picky about where we stay, and many of our trips were long weekends within driving distance.

Our home improvements were mostly inexpensive cosmetic changes, like painting.

I think the most important part of this journey was BELIEVING it was possible, and being able to EXPERIENCE the feeling of it already happening long before it was reality.

I’m sure that sounds cliche.

But there’s something to it.

When we tune our minds to a desire and hold it there frequently, we start to see opportunities we would have otherwise missed.

We attract like-minded people. We have a spark of energy and confidence.

We know that even though the short-term may seem dull and repetitive, the little decisions and small actions taken over a long period add up to life-changing results.

The emotional freedom on the other side of being debt-free is everything I dreamt of and more.

We now have two young children and I work 12 hours per week.

Tim is busy professionally this time of the year but slows down a lot in the winter…and he enjoys the downtime immensely.

We just took a two-week trip to Europe to visit his family.

We are traveling to New Jersey and New York for a week next month to visit mine.

We are planning a ten-year anniversary trip to Paris.

I attend hot yoga classes several times per week and have robust, meaningful friendships.

I usually get enough sleep. (PLEASE give yourself grace with this one if you have young children! I get it!)

The simple things in life, such as rest and relationships, make up the majority of the quality of our life, in my experience.

I hope that this feels hopeful. Motivating. Belief building.

Please reach out if you’d like to learn more!

Written by me