I cannot emphasize enough the power of stillness.

Of learning to sit with the discomfort that arises when you’ve been overriding for far too long and making the powerful choice to slow down.

Of consciously admitting to yourself that you equate your worth with ‘doing’ and ‘achieving.’

Of sitting with this discomfort patiently, curiously, until it starts to break up, dissolve, and leave you with a new energy.

A new joy. A new sturdiness. A new way to tap into your authenticity.

I’ve experienced a version of pain or discomfort being alchemized into still, profound peace more times than I can count.

Looking at ourselves and our fears head-on is hard.

Staying stuck is infinitely harder.

This is why this process – teaching it, simplifying it, speaking about what it feels like on the other side of the various cocoon phases I’ve gone through (and will surely continue to go through) – is so meaningful to me.

I’ve created a guide with various practical tools for sequenced healing.

Here’s the gist:

First and foremost, it’s nearly impossible for our bodies to heal if we’re constantly on the go, sleep-deprived, or getting poor-quality sleep, or if we’re ignoring our basic needs like hunger, thirst, and rest.

While these steps can be worked on simultaneously, they’ll flow better with the basics on board. Then, you can move through these phases:

Ground

Find an inner, visceral safety and sturdiness. Depending on the person and their history, this is not necessarily simple. I often refer people for a form of trauma processing called EMDR, which I personally found tremendously beneficial when I was stuck in this phase. Grounding is about creating an anchor in the present moment, a space where you can feel secure enough to begin the deeper work.

Heal

Shed old patterns and beliefs. While there is a range of what keeps people stuck, consistent patterns emerge, especially among high-achievers. Generally, the most pervasive belief at the core of it all is the feeling that we are not enough. Or that our worth is equated to our careers, achievements, or productivity. As someone who used to struggle deeply with this, faced it head-on, and transcended it, I love helping others make this shift.

Thrive

Achieve time, financial, and emotional freedom, and in general, live on your own terms. My husband and I hustled for years with the goal of becoming debt-free by age 40, and we achieved this early by paying off our mortgage by age 35. We faced plenty of hurdles along the way, which I’m transparent about in the content I create.

But here’s the thing: Once we have time and financial freedom, an extra barrier can emerge. If we equate productivity with our worth, we’ll jump right into the next thing: starting a business, a podcast, or buying a second home. We didn’t do this. I worked 12 hours per week for almost a year and a half before this blog evolved out of an urge I could no longer ignore—an urge to share what I’ve written. The Instagram account and coaching evolved naturally a few months later.

None of this has arisen out of “goals.” Instead, it has arisen from a place of non-attachment, stillness, and a robust sense of inner sturdiness and sureness in myself. Helping others sink into that—not ‘achieve’ it, but strip away the beliefs and experiences that have clouded who they’ve always been—is a big part of what my life’s work will likely become.

If you’re curious about my journey, see “My Story” (pinned reel). If I can do it, you absolutely can too.

Further reading:

“A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle (my all-time favorite book)

Blog posts related to his work:

Awaken to the Infinite Possibilities of the Present

Finding Unity in Spiritual Wisdom

Recognizing the Human Condition: Insights from Ancient Religious Teachings

The Ego and the Higher Self

The Transformative Power of Recognizing Our Pain-Body

Unlocking Presence

“Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender” by Dr. David Hawkins

Blog posts related to his work:

A Framework for Everything

The Map of Consciousness

The Map of Human Consciousness and Humanity’s Tipping Point: An Optimistic Lens

Biblical Mistranslations, Spiritual Unity, and Our Modern Understanding of Healing

Dr. David Hawkins' Journey

-Dr. Jen